The Past...It Haunts Me

How much do you know about your own life? Your own past? I mean really. How much are you even aware of?

Want to know what I know about my own life? Well, here goes. Ten years ago when I first had cancer, friends whom we'd known for years but were not seeing on a regular basis anymore, had four young children. Our friends came to a point in their lives where they wanted to teach their young ones about prayer.

So, they had those kids begin to pray for Miss Linda, every night. Four young children who barely knew me, and would still not know me on the street today. And as they prayed, I went into remission. I had no idea of their prayers until recently. Those kids would not forget that they prayed, and God answered. Today, each one is a Believer. And me? I'm grateful for their prayers, I'm grateful for God's answer.

Now this: 41 years ago, (yes, 41) I knew a girl named Terri. We graduated, moved on, had families, lived our lives. Through a series of events that are too complicated to explain here, we are now in touch via Facebook. She referenced a memory unknown to me that really touched me, and I shared one memory unknown to her that moved her. Now she wants to share a pain that haunted her years ago, something I'd known about. She knows that I am the one person on earth who could identify with that long ago pain. Someone she loved died. Someone I loved died. It was the same young man, but it was her young man. My pain healed over time but it changed me; hers apparently never was completely healed. Maybe I can help.

So Terri and I will write again, perhaps even talk someday. We live over a thousand miles apart. We are unlikely to ever meet again. Yet, there is something that binds us. Healing can come.

And this: I wrote a "fan" letter to an author I admire. Three weeks later now, she has written back, we have learned we are both Believers, both writers, both have young sons with Asperger's, and her best friend has cancer, just like I do. I don't even know if I could find it on a map, but I now have a friend, one I'll also surely never meet who lives in UAE. Yeah, find that on the map. Trust me, I definitely plan to read her other books now! And I can always meet her in heaven. I'm sure we'll know who the other is on sight.

And finally this: Steve and I had a friend we loved who died @ 25 years ago. We loved her. She left behind 2 little daughters and a husband. Her brothers have remained our friends over time, but the little girls and their Dad had drifted from our life. Until lately. Again, without explaining how, I have reconnected with one daughter. She is now in her early 30's, and we have begun to correspond. I adore her wit and humor. I might never meet her or her own young children, but I can know her through our shared words.

Today, I'd almost call her my friend, sight unseen. If Catherine had known that one day her friend Linda might be friends with her own precious daughter, she would have praised God for that joy. But I praise Him myself, because it brings a woman I loved back, in some tiny way. And what a joy to meet and grow to know the woman this orphaned child has grown into.

My God, the internet has brought me such happiness and surprise this week. This blasted computer has actually made my life richer. Whodathunk? My painful past...the haunting is lessened. Reality is here.