Welcome to Holland

My friend Leura sent me a piece by Emily Perl Kingsley called "Welcome to Holland." (Look it up; it's worth the read.) She thought I could relate to it in parenting my own son. Although the conditions are not the same, it is indeed something which touched me deeply. Asperger's and Down Syndrome are very different, especially in IQ's. But a parent's dreams for a child are the same.

Lately I've been working hard to stay tuned in to Sam's wisdom. Sometimes it's hard to hear, but that's because the noise of "normal" life gets in the way. When I really listen, I can hear and see it, and those days are my richest. I've stopped trying to always protect him, and started watching him protect himself. He's very good at it. I'm trying to see the world through his eyes, from his vantage point. It looks quite different than it does from here.

I used to feel the weight of my son's disability. Now I am lifted up by his uniqueness, his abilities, his wisdom, his humor... I'm lifted up by him. I'm saying goodbye to the old dreams that will never happen, and looking forward to the rest of my journey with this fascinating young man. I've grown to love my life in Holland with him.