My Daughter, My Mother

I'm worn out. The best thing going on right now is that I'm not in the hospital. Yep, that's the best.

Yesterday morning I woke up, stood up, threw up, gave up, and let others take over. The young ambulance guys were handsome and kind, but having my eyes open to a constantly swirling room made me throw up more, so I shut them, resigned to being a disgusting old slug and being carried in some contraption down our stairs. Steve was home sick, but loving his wife, he went with me to the ER and spent hours silently sitting by my side while I slept and was filled with another's blood that gave me back some life.

Steve and I both have colds (things that arrive on average for me, only once every ten years, needed or not.) That's what we've dealt with all week, you know, in preparation for surgery and a lengthy, unwanted separation on Monday. Can't think of a better way to prepare. House is filthy, clothes unwashed, letters not written, fridge empty, family ignored, no kissing!, nothing done.

But what that was, I have no idea, other than horrid and scary. For literally hours I could not open my eyes without nausea and vomiting. So much for pretending I'm still attractive. (Trust me, the ER nurses saw the real unvarnished me.) This morning I just feel exhausted. But I'm mobile. And ate some breakfast.

So, today I have to wash bedclothes, clean the kitchen, clean the birdcage, go to pharmacy for pre-surgery drugs, buy groceries, bake a pie and do pre-Thanksgiving food prep (celebrating tomorrow due to being in hospital on the exact date), make the beds, and who knows what else. Yeah, right. I think I'll take a nap and know that Morgan knows exactly how it is here, and she couldn't care less if this place is a dump when she walks in the door tonight. All I care is that she walks in that door.

Well, I am going to wash her bed linens. In fact, they're already done; the machine just beeped!

How old should we be before we give it up and hope our kids can take care of us? I really thought I'd be much older before that day came.