Lincoln and Friends

What do you MEAN it's November!? Do we just forget a lot more days when we're older, or are the days truly going by more quickly, the earth spinning faster? This is insane. Yesterday I mailed Valentines. Didn't I? Wait, knowing me, I probably did.

I've not yet announced my cancer situation here, but assuming most of you know about it anyway, I'll just go on. The surgery will be Nov. 24, the day before Thanksgiving. After so many years of this, it's not scary. It just ...is. I'm obedient; I do what I'm told. Except when I don't. But at this point in life, I do what Steve and my doc tell me to do. One loves me. And frankly, the other seems to also. And both are Believers who talk to God about me. I'm sure of that.

Today is about the tenth day in a row where the sun has shone gloriously. Beautiful. The tree colors are in full glory, and most leaves here have yet to fall. They'll disappear soon enough. But for now, I wake up each day, throw open the shades in anticipation and nearly yell with excitement, "Yes! It's gorgeous out there!" Heck, even on dark or rainy days anymore, I'm just glad to look out and see life.

What a strange way to live... waking up each day with death on my mind. It sounds so dreary, but it's not. As a Believer, there are moments when I can hardly wait! But as a wife and mother, not so much. As in, I want to stay here with my three beloveds. I don't want them to suffer. My thoughts are more about what heaven will be like, the people I look forward to seeing there, (like Catherine, and Abe, and Ian) and most of all, (I can barely breathe this into words) meeting Christ!

But for now... today is Sam's birthday. He's 22 today. I have gifts, will not bake a cake (since I quit that in 1977 when the one I'd just baked dropped and nearly cracked the floor), and we plan to take him out to dinner. I also plan to do his chores for him. He asked for no gifts; it's the least I can do. The most I can do is love him, support him, and teach him how to be a good man. So far, I think that's what I've done.

Each day now, I live my life in spite of the cancer, I live my life in spite of the prognosis. And most of all, I live my life in spite of me.