Many Colors

The ugly red scar is over 10" long. And lumpy. Blood Red.

Being off chemo has allowed my hair to grow for the first time in years. It's getting long and full and not half bad. And curly. White on top; dark brown in back. Pin it up and I look, well... pretty decent. Pink.

I can barely walk across a room without having to sit down. Dingy Gray.

Today we ran errands. I walked into Kohl's (first time anywhere in weeks) and had to grab onto a cart to stay standing. But walk I did. That I saw nothing I wanted to buy is immaterial. I was out there. (Okay, yes, it was a test.) And rather than have Steve drive me, I walked the whole way next door to the grocery shop where I sat down but who cares? Purple.

I've lost over ten pounds, and when I turn sideways, I'm nearly invisible. Puce.

Last night I slept all night. (well, only one brief wake up) Nothing hurt (much) and I stretched. Dear God, what a pleasure to finally be physically able to stretch. And I slept 11 hours, my goal. I was so happy that I got up right away. And get this... I took a shower all by myself! I'm a big girl now! Candy Red.

I've forgotten what I used to do on a normal day. Everything seems weird around here. Black.

For now, I read, just finished writing my second book, have to find a new publisher, try to move myself to do more, and practice deep breathing. Having assumed I'd be gone by now, I suppose it's time to figure out what to do with the rest of the time I do have here. Life feels surreal. I talk to God a lot. In new ways. Grassy Green.

Life is full of horrid things. For most people. But for me, I prefer to concentrate on the good. I'll let that color my days.