Crash

Well, I was wrong; I didn't crash Thursday morning. It was Friday afternoon. And today (Tuesday) I'm still down. As in I can barely move and haven't eaten in three days. Sort of feels like it did ten years ago at the beginning of all this. I see Dr. Boice today (Steve is taking me) and I think he might switch drugs. The current one is not working, as in, I'm getting worse, not better.

After two days of the initial "drug-induced" energy, it's now that much more depressing to be a slug. But I did read an entire Grisham novel in one day. I did it to keep myself from doing anything that required moving, and the only problem at day's end was a sore butt. And Sam brought drinks, rubbed my back and sort of checked on me all day yesterday. And I took two baths to ease the body pain, promptly falling asleep in my towel.

I find it easier to sleep and dream than to feel positive about my future, so I sleep. Of course, I'm not worried, just oh so tired. Each time this happens, I say, "Oh my gosh, I've had it!" Then I remember that I've lived through it before and will again.

I think right now I'm supposed to be living in today, and nowhere else. So that's what I'll do. Steve just gave me strawberries, and they are delicious.