Dead or Alive?

So far, all I know is I'm keeping all 3 new sweaters - lightweight, medium, & heavy - because there is a different use for each. And since I bought them, not a day has gone by without my wearing one, so I'm thankful to have them. On to other thoughts, for now.

I'm in the worst physical shape I've been since 2000. I'll share details when it's time. Suffice it to say that chemo is soon to be a renewed routine for me. And hopefully, sleep will become less of a routine. Yes, I sleep too often, due to cancer destroying my good parts. That said, I still feel pretty good.

I have another young relative in the beginning stages of cancer, also in chemo. How do I encourage her? What's so great about it? Aside from the "it saves your life" part, I mean. Well, I do know that it turns the mind from "me" to "You." As in, "this is hurting me" seems less important than, "what do You want me to do now?"

This might not be the place to list all the good things that came into our lives from my having cancer. Or maybe it is, but I'm not doing that. It's just important to say that cancer is only as bad as we allow it to be. Physical death is not the worst thing that can happen to us. Hey, that's a given for everyone. But dying in one's heart is the worst thing. Not knowing what it's all about is more life ending than death itself. And my niece knows what it's all about. No matter what, she'll be fine.

Steve and I look at one another and laugh, and not just because we're funny looking, or even funny. We laugh because the journey we've lived together is so amazing. After only one date nearly 37 years ago, whodathunk it would last this long? How could we have known that cancer, such a horrid killer, would have drawn us closer together and saved not only my life, but probably our marriage? God is pretty clever, even when He lets us suffer in ways that make us almost hate Him. Forgiving, learning from the pain, moving on...that's what matters.

And in the end, I'll be content, whether I'm dead, or alive.